


evil isn't born. it's made.

by DelicatePoem



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad Matchmaking, Dark Emma and Evil Queen are insatiable, F/F, Smut, Some Humor, Split Queen, Split Swan, and realizing that you can't get rid of your darkness!!, featuring:, season 6 AU, serious conversations, trapped together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-07-03 03:20:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15810261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DelicatePoem/pseuds/DelicatePoem
Summary: Set after 5x23. It’s been a few weeks since their trip to the Underworld, and Emma is not coping with everything that’s happened. She’s been having trouble sleeping, and is sure that’s the Dark Swan’s voice inside her head. Letting go of the darkness like Regina did sounds like a good idea at first. But when both Emma and Regina’s other halves are set loose, just what kind of havoc awaits them?





	evil isn't born. it's made.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lgbtshark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lgbtshark/gifts), [KizuRai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KizuRai/gifts), [soundslikehope](https://archiveofourown.org/users/soundslikehope/gifts).
  * Inspired by [evil isn't born. it's made. [fanart]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15853983) by [lgbtshark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lgbtshark/pseuds/lgbtshark). 



> Laura, thank you for such a beautiful, beautiful art! There were many different directions to take with this, and I hope I did justice to your amazing edit! (You can see it [here.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15853983)) My betas were wonderful. Thank you, Hope (soundslikehope) for all your encouragement, for giving me the inspiration for this plot and for your detailed commentary! And Sophy (KizuRai), who also helped lots and said I could do this, thank you so much! You're the best at catching those odd decisions I make, lol. Thank you both for not giving up on me ♥
> 
> I feel like we should have had a different closure on the Split!Queen arc in the show; not like... giving up on your other half and making it another person completely.
> 
> This is ultimately a story about acceptance and self-forgiveness.

**One.**

She sits on the dusty floor of the clock tower, her legs hugged tight to her own chest, hiding her face on her knees. She won’t cry now, she knows, this is not the time. There’s something wrong in Storybrooke, again, and she’s the savior, she has to save everyone now that she isn’t wearing black leather and a tight bun on her head.

But Emma said the wrong thing again.

“I just want what’s best for you,” she told Regina.

“No, you don’t. When you’re upset, we follow you to hell. But when I’m upset, I get a time-out.”

Now is not the time. She has to fix this. She can’t stop now, because if she does, she’ll think about Hook again and he’s not here anymore, and this is all her fault—

Emma gets up in a swift move, exhales shakily, brushes away tears that should not have fallen. Jumping a little, she shakes herself.

She has to fix this.

***

They’re in Neal’s apartment. Regina finds _Robin Hood: Myth and Legend_ on a bookshelf and she’s trying so hard not to cry in front of Emma, and Emma has to hold herself from getting up and hugging her tight, because they don’t do this, they aren’t the kind of friends who hug and are touchy-feely.

They are friends, first and foremost. Friends who have _moments_ such as this one, when Emma can’t bring herself to say anything useful because a voice inside her head reminds her, _It’s your fault Regina lost him._

_It’s your fault, Emma. Look at what you’ve done._

This voice has been in her subconscious ever since the night her curse was broken. Her thoughts jump from one path to another, refusing to let herself remember the night clearly, other than herself sobbing like a child because she had to kill… The voice doesn’t sound like any of the previous Dark One’s, thankfully, but it sounds like _herself._ Well, Dark One Emma, that is. Low tone, seductive, and filled with terrible ideas.

She blinks and pushes the voice away, manages to say past a slimy darkness of her own, right there itching under her skin, “I’m sorry about earlier.” _I was being stupid...again,_ she almost says. Instead, she says, “I wasn’t there for you about Robin. I… I was trying to protect you.”

Regina turns to her, looking down at the letter in her hand for a second, before raising her eyes to stare at her across the room, expression soft and lips downturned at the corners. “You want to know why I got so angry? Because you’re right. The Evil Queen _is_ inside me always trying to get out.” She scoffs. “I can’t expect you to get it.”

“Well, I fought the darkness…” Emma trails off. She’s a terrible liar. The darkness is still there. “You know I do understand.”

“All due respect, but you don’t. You went up to the precipice. But you got pulled back before it consumed you.” Regina says this earnestly, like she believes Emma is _good,_ but all Emma can think is if Hades were still alive, she’d rip his new heart herself and make him _pay_ for everything.

She shifts uncomfortably on her seat, clenching her hand to stop this train of thought before it spreads even more. The words are stuck in her throat; she can’t tell Regina about these urges, these awful thoughts that pop up whenever she starts to get just a little bit angry or sad.

Robin’s letter causes Regina to admit she will never be at peace with herself. Does that mean Emma will never find peace too? Will she be consumed by the darkness from now on?

_As much as I want to give in to evil, I don’t._

Regina admits that doing good equals loss. Equals her own suffering.

“And if I go forward trying to be good, I have to live with my past darkness and all its well-deserved consequences.”

Emma moves closer to Regina, unsure if her touch would be welcome. She crosses her arms instead. “I don’t believe that. I believe in you,” she says, nodding to make her point.

“That’s because you are good,” Regina answers, defeated, initiating contact by gripping Emma’s arms and staring right into her eyes. Emma scoffs, because that’s so not true.

“I’m not, I…” Emma sighs, unable to maintain eye contact. “I’m _afraid,_ not good,” she denies, a hint of a smile on her lips. “I’ve been having some terrible thoughts lately.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? Since when?” Regina asks, a hand curling over her crossed arm, and it makes her lips tremble.

“Since…” she starts quietly, gathering her strength, “since I’ve—”

Three beeps from the laptop interrupts her, and they’re back to business, like nothing happened.

It’s time to find Henry.

They don’t talk about this _moment_ again.

***

It’s 1:43 AM and she can’t fall asleep. When she was the Dark One, she didn’t sleep, the voices inside her head providing her company.

Emma shifts on the mattress, this stiff mattress that came with the curse and this house that is quiet, too quiet and _also came with the curse._ A house that feels wrong, feels too big, feels _empty._

Hook is dead. Robin is dead. The Evil Queen is dead.

And now every time she closes her eyes, she hears the _swish_ of the sword going through Hook. Sees the moment she left him there in the Underworld.

(A small part of herself tells her she doesn’t really miss Hook.

She misses his presence. She misses not being alone. He… was _safe,_ wasn’t he? He loved her. She… loved him, too. Didn’t she?

But… didn’t he threaten her family? She had tried to save him from death, and ended up having to kill him.)

She imagines it was herself who killed Robin Hood, turning his heart to dust because _the darkness_ told her he wasn’t good enough for Regina anyway.

_Wasn’t that a thought that popped up before the dark one’s curse?_

“Okaaay, that’s enough,” Emma says aloud, eyes wide in disbelief at her obscure reasoning as she throws back the covers, sitting up on the bed. She grapples for her phone on the nightstand and doesn’t hesitate for one second as she types in Regina’s number and calls her, the idea having wormed itself into her head, refusing to leave its place in the back of her brain.

_“This better have a good reason.”_

“Regina, I need your help.”

There’s some shuffling on the other side, and Emma wonders if that sounded as desperate as it felt. _“What happened? I’m on my way.”_

“Wait, wait. Sorry. It’s just…” Emma runs a hand through her mess of hair, and sighs.

_“Emma. Spill, or I swear I’ll—”_

“Did you use all the serum?”

The line is silent for a few seconds, and Emma can imagine Regina’s bewildered frown from miles away. _“Yes, I believe I did…”_ she answers slowly. _“Emma, what—”_

“Are you sure?” Emma asks, moving to sit on the edge of the bed, hunched over, her elbows leaning on her legs.

_“You were there, you saw it.”_

“I know!” she says louder than intended, and then repeats, softly, “I know.”

_“You’re not making any sense. I’ll be there in five.”_

“Regina, no—”

The line goes dead before she can finish her sentence.

***

One week later, on a day where Henry’s with his grandparents, they are inside the vault, and Regina is holding a syringe with the red substance: the serum Dr. Jekyll provided before leaving for his own world.

“Are you sure about this?” Regina asks apprehensively.

“As sure as I’ll ever be,” Emma shrugs. She stretches her arm in Regina’s direction. “We’ve discussed this.” _I need a fresh start too, you know?_ she recalls her words to Regina the other night. “You’re feeling better, right?”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Regina murmurs, rolling up Emma’s sleeve, the fingers on her skin making her shiver. “But I’ll get there. This is your last chance to back out,” she says, looking serious. “It hurts like a bitch.”

Emma nods, “I know. Do it.”

The needle goes in and Emma hisses, closing her eyes. For a second, nothing happens, but then it’s like the liquid is trying to burn her from the inside, crawling up her arm to every part of her body. The pain makes her double over, shaky arms hugging her stomach, and she whimpers, nearly screams at the feeling of being ripped apart.

It lasts a few seconds, most likely. It feels like three trucks have rolled over her, because _fuck, it hurts._ There’s an energy crackling between her and… _her_ being separated from her body. The Dark Swan pushing away from her, a cool smile stretching her lips.

_What the hell, this is so weird._

“Emma!” Regina exclaims, roles reversed as she traps her doppelganger’s wrists this time as soon as she tries to lunge at Emma, who was too distracted by the Dark Swan to notice she’d almost been choked to death.

Swan grunts, rattling the chains, and then raises an eyebrow. “I see... I thought we agreed to take care of our own problems. I was wrong,” she says in a low, monotonous tone. Her gaze doesn’t waver from Emma’s, lips now pursed in distaste. “And you are pathetic.”

“Emma,” Regina warns, “don’t listen to her.”

Emma zeroes in on her own raised hand, but frowns as it starts shaking.

“Yes, Emma, don’t listen to her,” Regina coos—that doesn’t sound right, why would... and then she turns her head in Regina’s direction, confused beyond measure.

But Regina is staring at a point behind Emma’s head, frozen, her eyes wide. Regina looks scared, like… like the last time she was facing the Evil Queen.

Emma swivels on her feet, and gapes at the sight. Surely, this could not be…

“Hello, Savior.” Reg— _the queen_ greets, a faux-innocent smile playing on her lips.

* * *

**Two.**

_The Dark Swan sighs, and rolls her shoulders when she feels her magic returning. “Zelena’s farmhouse?” She glances around as they walk inside the kitchen._

_“I know, dear… leaves much to be desired,” the queen says in a bored tone, and waves a hand dismissively. “I consider it better than the Dragon’s place.”_

_She raises a hand to light up the fireplace, but Swan interrupts her before she can do so. “Let me.”_

_“By all means,” the queen says in a slow, deliberate drawl, smirking as she takes a seat._

_The Dark Swan conjures a ball of fire to her hand, letting it stay there for a few moments, getting used to the feeling of magic coursing through her veins again. After admiring it for a proper amount of time, she throws it at the fireplace, staring fixedly as the flames consume the wood, a hint of anger gleaming in her eyes._

_“This is too perfect.” The Queen settles her elbows on the table, leaning her chin on her hands. “I can practically_ taste _your anger.”_

_“You know nothing,” Swan murmurs._

_“Oh, believe me, I know a lot,” the brunette answers, a derisive chuckle leaving her lips as she leans back. “You know the Savior’s deepest desires just as much as I know Regina’s. And I am_ willing _to bet…” She gets up, moving until she’s directly behind Swan, leaning forward until she’s whispering right in her ear, “They_ match.”

_The Dark Swan turns her head slightly, catching the Queen’s sharp eyes, her teeth appearing from between her bright red lips when she sees the lust and desire reflected there._

***

Regina had been lying to her, hadn’t she? It’s been two days since the whole… shitty idea that made them realize there was no getting rid of their dark halves. Since then, Emma feels disconnected, as though separating herself from her dark side wasn’t completely seamless, as though her _joie de vivre_ (her e-mail subscription to the Word of the Week provided her with that one) had been split apart along the way.

There’s something… something she can’t name, nor define in its exact quantities. However, she does know _something_ is missing.

“This is all my fault,” Regina says, drinking her liquor in one gulp, her voice cutting through the fog in Emma’s mind. “I should have kept her inside, where she was _my_ problem. Now there’s double the trouble.”

“Regina, this is not your fault.” Snow says from the other side of the booth.

Regina scoffs. “Right.”

“It isn’t.” Emma pipes up, avoiding their eyes by fiddling with her glass. “For all intents and purposes, the fault is mine too.” She dragged them to the Underworld, to save a man who had tried to kill—

Snow touches one hand from each, successfully bringing Emma back to the present. “Can we stop with the finger-pointing for one second?” She squeezes their hands. “This is not the time, you two.”

Glancing up in a sign of supplication, Regina heaves a sigh. “I hate to admit it, but your mother is right. We won’t get anywhere with this.”

“Thank you,” Snow replies with a pointed look. “Now. Tell me the specifics. What did the Evil Queen say?”

***

_Hovering above Swan, the queen slowly drags her hand up her torso, her eyes following the path until she cups a breast, rolling a dusky pink nipple with her thumb. She surges forward, capturing the Swan’s mouth again, their lipsticks long gone. They both moan as Swan parts her lips and deepens the kiss._

_Swan slips her hand from her hip and grips her ass instead, encouraging her to start moving again. Their legs hooked together, the evidence of their arousal smeared on their thighs as the queen adjusts her knee to press right at Swan’s core. “I can’t believe,” the queen grunts, breaking from the kiss as she rocks her hips towards the other woman, “they wasted all those years.”_

_Humming in agreement, Swan nibbles her pulse point, panting a little. She breathes sharply when a wave of pure bliss passes through her body, biting the queen’s shoulder in the process. “They are idiots.”_

***

A week after The Worst Idea Ever, Emma decides it’s better to pretend nothing is happening. Well, the council decides so as well, for the purpose of not scaring the citizens of Storybrooke with yet another imminent threat attack.

So they act normally. And pretend there aren’t two evils strolling around Storybrooke. Somewhere.

Knocking on Henry’s open bedroom door, Emma calls, “Hen? Wanna grab some lunch at Granny’s?” Emma prefers to call this ‘the temporary bedroom’ because something inside her chest refuses to settle down in this house,  _ can’t  _ settle down in this house.

“Oh, sure, yeah.” He turns his head in her direction and smiles. “I’ll finish this later.”

Soon enough they leave the house, and the thought of a weight lifted from her shoulders should feel ridiculous, but it’s a  _ relief. _ The entire place feels tainted, tainted by bad memories and bad feelings and bad words as she clinged to the idea of a perfect life, a perfect  _ lie. _

There doesn’t seem to be a single room without an echo of  _ So much for our future, Swan. _

They continue walking down the sidewalk, and Emma can’t seem to enjoy the warmth of the sun glaring down in their faces. She hasn’t been enjoying much of anything lately.

“Mom… How do you feel?”

Emma tries to understand what prompted the question. When nothing else seems to be forthcoming, she asks, her head tilted in his direction, “What do you mean, kid?”

“Are you okay?” He looks at her, worry shining in his gaze. “With— with the Evil Queen and…” he hesitates. “The… Dark Swan?”

Emma stops in her tracks. “Who told you that?”

“This is old news already. Everyone knows, Mom.”

“Ah. I was going to tell you. I guess I forgot.” Emma says sheepishly.

“So? How are you?”

“I… I’m fine.”

Henry sighs. “Mom said the same thing a few weeks ago, and now I’m not so sure.”

Regina is not well? “What do you mean, kid?”

“She says she’s fine, but I don’t think she is.”

***

Emma and Regina walk across the cemetery in silence, the sound of leaves crunching beneath their boots. Emma pretends for a few seconds they are simply strolling, no destination in mind, and not on their way to confront the Evil Queen. It’s been almost three weeks, and they haven’t found her yet, haven’t found the Dark Swan yet.

“How are… how is everything at home?” Henry planted a seed in Emma’s head, and now she worries something is not quite right with Regina. Still, she doesn’t gather enough courage to ask  _ How are you feeling?  _ because… she doesn’t want to answer that question herself, and it seems unfair.

So she asks, instead, “With— the baby and… Zelena?” After the whole thing with Robin’s death and Zelena proving that she would put her family above everything else, they had decided it was better to ‘stick together’ and move forward. Hence why Zelena is living at the mansion.

“It’ll be _the_ day when I finally get more than four hours of sleep. I definitely don’t miss that.”

Emma kicks a leaf in her path. “Henry is trying to decide if he prefers Robin crying or my creepy house. I’d choose the baby if I were him,” she admits.

Regina hums, a silence filled with bird whistles settling in. (Emma would love to be able to read minds right now to know what Regina’s thinking.)

“What do you suggest?” Regina asks at last, finally stopping in front of the vault, her arms crossed. Emma can see her eyes narrow against the sunlight shining through the trees. “Barge in and hope for the best?”

Leave it to Regina to be sarcastic when the idea was hers in the first place.

“Dunno,” Emma says, rolling her eyes, “you were the one that came up with this theory, not me. Besides, she might not even be here.”

“She’s been here recently.”

Emma shivers unpleasantly. If the Evil Queen was here, does that mean…?

“How can you tell? Do you… sense her…?” Emma asks uneasily.

Glancing sideways at her, Regina lifts both her hands, which begin to shine with light magic, aiming them at the vault’s door. “Everyone has a magical signature,” she comments.

Emma watches Regina’s fingers restlessly move as the protection spell glimmers for a few seconds, before dematerializing in the air. “Huh?”

“Can't you feel it?” Regina asks, lowering her hands. “An energy thrumming beneath your skin?”

A lopsided grin on her face, Emma replies nonchalantly, “Yup, but not in this particular context…” She can’t help herself from slipping that innuendo in.

Is that a blush on Regina’s cheeks?

“It’s nice to see you smiling again,” Regina says in her softest voice, and Emma slips her hands into her jeans’ back pockets, averting her eyes.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she answers with a half-hearted shrug.

“Right.” Her sharp tone brings Emma up short, knocking her breath away. She doesn’t have to look at Regina to feel the disappointment washing over her.

***

 _“It’s quite simple. You see, unless you’ve found the Shears of Destiny lying around, which I assume you haven’t, we…” the Queen pauses,_ “need… _them. I can’t be the only one with these…_ happy _thoughts.” She spits the word like it is poison in her mouth. “Or these warm, fuzzy feelings.”_

_“Hmm.” Swan murmurs, staring at the ceiling as she catches her breath. “We...need...them?” She pants out, turning to lay on her side, pressed naked against the queen’s body. She traces her stomach with a short nail, leaving goosebumps in her wake. “How do you know?”_

_“I asked the Dragon.”_

_Swan scoffs, leveling her with a look. “You did no such thing.”_

_“Alright, alright, I_ may _have ripped his heart from his chest and_ then _asked him. Semantics, dear,” she answers, flashing a seductive smile in her direction._

_She sobers abruptly. “An emptiness will take root soon.”_

_Rolling her eyes, Swan answers, “As if that weren’t true right now.”_

_The queen twists until Swan has rolled to her back and she’s on top of her, quickly grasping her wrists and pressing them against the duvet._

_“If you’re telling me this, you’ve concocted a plan,” the former Dark One says, changing tactics._

_“Of course I have,” the queen answers, leaning down to kiss her._

* * *

**Three.**

**_Two days earlier_ **

_“It’s two in the morning. You want to do_ what _again?” Dark Swan asks, her arm splayed across the queen’s chest._

_“We get to the mines, grab that fairy dust and come back. Those fools will be none the wiser.”_

_Swan rubs her nose against the queen’s neck, eyeing the red and purple hickeys painting the skin. “Can’t that wait?” she asks, the tip of her tongue licking a path to her lobe._

_The queen turns in her embrace, interrupting Swan’s actions as she stares into her eyes with a smirk. “Has someone gone… soft?”_

_The Dark Swan distances herself hastily, lip curled in distaste, looking away. “No.”_

_The prim smile on the queen’s face falters. “Relax, dear. I was only teasing you.”_

***

They did go in without a plan, to be honest. She doesn’t know what else Regina might have expected. Right as they descend and take the first hesitant steps away from the stairs, the doors above shut with a loud _BANG!_ and Emma winces; this sort of thing was bound to happen but she’s still highly unamused.

In a cloud of purple and gray smoke respectively, the Evil Queen and the Dark Swan appear, the latter’s hand in the crook of the queen’s elbow. Together as they are, they don’t look half-bad, Emma has to admit. The queen’s wearing one of those intricate dark gowns, the bodice encrusted with diamonds that sparkle with the glow of the candles as she swishes the skirt this way and that, while the Dark Swan favors a tight black number with a trench coat on top of it, her poise and sharp eyes so different from Emma’s; it’s certainly disconcerting. Is this how Regina feels every time? Or has she grown accustomed to it already?

A lot of unnecessary work to maintain the aloof image, that wardrobe was. Emma remembers with a vague clarity the image of herself brushing her fingers through several black and black and… more black dresses when the new curse brought them back to Storybrooke. It was such a wonderful thing when she was able to donate most of those items afterwards, keeping only the few good dresses with her.

But she digresses… The point is… well… Emma _may_ have been distracted at first when they came closer. She’s always out of sorts whenever she encounters the queen.

The pair leisurely get well into their personal space, unbothered by the threat Regina and Emma’s stances pose. “Sorry we’re late,” Dark Swan says lowly with a tight-lipped smile.

The queen chuckles. “We were giving our regards to Robin,” she comments with a pout in Regina’s direction. “I used to love him, you know.”

Emma watches herself — no, not _herself,_ she insists in her mind, the _Dark One_ — roll her eyes when the queen starts one of her monologues that must have a point, but why mention Robin at all?

 _“Loved._ Past tense.” Ouch. Emma frowns, glancing from the corner of her eye as Regina’s nostrils flare at the tactlessness, which was probably the idea in the first place. “Losing Robin Hood was the _best_ thing that ever happened to us.”

“Regina, don’t let her get to you,” Emma says.

“Too late.” Regina sneers, a fireball in her hand. Is this her solution to everything? Summon up a fireball that’s always extinguished or misses its mark? “I don’t know what you want, but like hell you’re getting away with it.”

The Dark Swan closes her thumb against her fingers, putting out the fire in one swoop. “You’ll stay here until you’ve learned your lesson,” she simpers, looking pleased with herself. “We’re taking these as souvenirs.”

In the next blink, Emma sees her phone and Regina’s in Swan’s hands, and before they can think to react, the queen adds, “Either you learn your lesson, or you finally let the untold story unfold. Whichever you prefer.” Laughing gleefully, they disappear.

***

They’re locked inside the vault.

And Regina has been kicking and hitting the door for the past half-hour.

“Regina, would you stop, you’re giving me a headache.” Emma rubs her temples, elbows on her knees, sitting on the last step of the stairs. Her back is to Regina, whose weak pulses of magic against the sealed door of the vault are seriously annoying her.

In response, Regina hits the door with a _thud,_ making Emma jump. “We fell directly into their trap.”

“Yeah, we did, but that won’t solve anything. Someone will find us at some point,” she shrugs. There’s nothing to do now.

She hears the clack of Regina’s boots as she comes down the stairs, a huff of discontent falling from her lips. Emma gets up to avoid being... kicked, or who knows what. When Regina is angry (read: nervous and distressed) it’s better not to trifle with her. _“At some point.”_ Regina says, derision palpable in her tone. _“Now_ I feel relieved, Miss Swan.”

“Hey,” Emma says with a frown, leaning against the wall. “It’s fine to not like being trapped, but don’t take it out on me. It’s not my fault.” She pauses, clenching her jaw. “Not now, anyway.”

Looking down, Regina sighs heavily, her palm against the brick wall. Emma watches as she pushes a wayward lock of hair behind her ear, probably using this to calm herself. Regina then mirrors her position, leaning back, face-to-face to Emma. “I’m… sorry. I— I don’t really enjoy being trapped against my own volition, as you’ve gathered.”

Emma crosses her arms, aiming for nonchalance. “Yeah, it’s okay, don’t worry.”

Regina shakes her head. “It’s not.”

***

**_One day earlier_ **

_The kitchen inside the farmhouse has been converted in a laboratory for the time being. Next to the table is a cauldron, bubbling with a gold liquid, and on the table a wooden board with a pile of recently removed vanilla seeds._

_“We’re placing a… curse.” Swan says slowly, adding the ingredient in small doses. “On the vault.”_

_“Yes. When they walk in, they’ll get stuck,” the queen explains, smirking as she stirs the concoction. “And believe me, dear, they_ will _eventually be led there. They’re running out of options.”_

_The Dark Swan shakes her head, crunching the purple flower petals with the pestle as requested. “That is, if Zelena doesn’t show up here first.”_

***

“Hey, what did she mean before?” Emma asks, giving up on this boring book about boring things that will get her nowhere. Magic can be so technical sometimes; why not simplify things and have a spell that undoes everything?

“Before…?” Regina trails off, not following her line of thought. To be honest, Emma’s pretty lost herself. And bored. Which makes her more susceptible to ask _things_ and want to have real conversations that don’t involve some serious read-between-the-lines-because-I-won’t-be-straightforward-Miss-Swan she never grasps fully.

“The— the queen…” Emma waves her hand around, bringing the subject to the forefront. “Untold story?”

Regina looks away as soon as the words are out of her mouth. “Don’t listen to her,” she says in a low tone.

Emma frowns. _Really?_ “Yeah, well, you did a fine job of that before.”

Clearing her throat delicately, Regina glances down and flips a few pages, her tense shoulders betraying… _what, exactly?_ “She… _I_ used to enjoy playing mind-games,” Regina explains, but that’s nothing Emma didn’t know. “I just have to figure out what she’s aiming at this time.”

Her lie-detector pings, but Emma lets it pass for now. “Okay. Let’s figure out how to get out of here first. What lesson do we have to learn?”

Regina grips the edge of the table, staring fixedly at nothing that would call Emma’s attention. “I think I know the answer to that, and the same goes to you, Emma.”

* * *

**Four.**

**_Twelve hours earlier_ **

_“You had to ruin it,” the queen comments to the Dark One, heaving a sigh as Zelena spots them in the kitchen. “Hello, sis.”_

_“God, you two were here the whole time?” Zelena sneers, rolling her eyes._

_“Can I get rid of her?” the Dark Swan asks angrily, rolling her right wrist one, two times before raising her hand, ready to choke the woman who killed Neal—_

_“Not. Yet.” The queen emphasizes the T’s, getting close to her and grasping the wrist in her own hand, then lowering it._

_Zelena looks unfazed, crossing her arms against her chest. “What a_ horrible _smell. You’ve been here for what—” Zelena waves a hand around, “a week, tops? And why does it smell like the gingerbread house in here?”_

_“It’s the vanilla,” the queen answers. “That’s irrelevant right now. The question is… you help us and we don’t kill you, how is that?” she offers a cold smile as the Dark Swan laughs._

***

**_Present_ **

“What?! You _knew?!”_ Emma asks, mouth open as she suddenly stands up from the trunk she was resting on. “You _knew_ it was a bad idea when I asked you?”

Regina flicks a hand through her dark hair, her face impassive, as if they were discussing the items on Granny’s menu. “I... have been...” The words come out slowly, unhurried, like pulling teeth, as she puts the dragon scale vial back on its spot. “Experiencing some side-effects, if you will. Nothing that cannot be handled.”

“Still...” Emma shakes her head, feeling like an idiot. “You were lying and I kept wanting to believe you weren’t.”

“I _know._ But I wasn’t fully aware either,” Regina snaps, crossing the room to where she stands in a few short steps. “You know what I mean, Emma—” She pauses, gesturing around with her hand. “How do you think it feels, to know that you _need_ your other half?” Her voice breaks towards the end. “And the— the emptiness, have you felt it yet?”

Emma deflates, the look in Regina’s eyes so raw and tired as she sighs. Of course she has felt it. Smiles don’t linger, happiness seems short-lived, being irritated over nothing in particular is common, the darkness whispers _you’re_ _never going to be enough_. But she’s been denying it, despite everything.

“We’ve made a _mistake.”_ Regina says earnestly, reaching out and catching Emma’s hand in her own. (She’s been doing a lot of that lately.)

Emma stares into her eyes, the corners of her lips downturned. “It seems we have,” she says in a soft croak.

***

“They’ve been so absorbed with each other, they haven’t realized there are several mirrors they can use,” Zelena comments, eyeing Emma and Regina through a mirror of her own.

 _“You never told me what made you want to do this too,”_ they hear Regina say quietly. _“Why did we reach this point?”_

“Not to mention that they just admitted being wrong,” Dark Swan pipes up, leaning back on the chair.

“They’re idiots.” The queen places a hand on Dark Swan’s shoulder, pretending to stare into the small-sized mirror lying flat on the kitchen table.

 _“Voices in my head,”_ Emma answers. _“That told me horrible things.”_

She caresses the Dark One’s neck with her thumb, enjoying the way Swan tries to hide her shiver.

_“You should have told me, we could have—”_

_“And then what?”_ Emma interrupts. _“You were grieving, Regina. I wasn’t going to be selfish and take that away from you.”_

Zelena cackles suddenly. “Would you look at that… I never thought Regina would make a move first.”

They watch as the pair stares each other down, their bodies centimeters away.

“I’m the queen, of course I’d make a move first.”

Zelena shushes her with a wave. “Listen.”

***

“And then what?” Emma interrupts. “You were grieving, Regina. I wasn’t going to be selfish and take that away from you.”

“But _you_ were grieving as well.” Regina squeezes the hand held in both of hers. She’s been holding it for a long time, and Emma wonders why her palm isn’t sweating yet, because she’s nervous as hell. “You’re the most selfless person I know.”

Emma huffs. “No, I’m not. I dragged everyone to the Underworld, if you recall.”

Regina lowers Emma’s hand to her side unexpectedly, moving up to tuck a loose strand of blonde hair behind Emma’s left ear. _Stay calm, Emma._ “We chose to follow you,” she says softly, her fingertips trailing along Emma’s ear before her warm palm covers Emma’s cheek; Emma scarcely breathes in fear of breaking the moment, because she _knows_ this is one of those moments they will never address again. She knows that, so she remains silent, a quiet wave of longing washing over her, her pulse thrumming wildly in her throat, as she waits for Regina to gather her thoughts. 

A look of apprehension crosses Regina’s features, but she doesn’t pull away yet. “It seems I can’t stay away from you,” Regina finally says, giving Emma a small smile.

“And why is that?” Emma whispers.

Regina looks into her eyes, doesn’t say another word, just keeps staring with that _intensity_ she’s always had, her palm soft and gentle and pure _heat_ against Emma’s cheek. It makes Emma dare to hope, dare to hope that…

But something always stops them from taking that _last step,_ doesn’t it? Whether it be a fail-safe diamond, an incoming curse and _my gift to you is good memories,_ the Dark One’s curse, or the men they were involved with.

Well… Nothing will be interrupting them for a while… right? Until they find a way to leave this place, that is.

 _So here goes nothing,_ Emma thinks, her hands shaking visibly as she grasps Regina’s shoulders, taking the last step as she leans in and kisses her, a chaste press of lips. Regina immediately leans forward too, opening her mouth just enough for them to fit together. And Emma’s eyes are fluttering closed when a blast of light covers them with a _whoosh,_ which causes them to break apart with a gasp.

The door latch opening sounds magnified as they stare with wide eyes at each other, awestruck.

* * *

**Five.**

**_Two weeks before_ **

_“Hmm, we do have impeccable taste.”_

_Regina lifts her head sharply from the paperwork. “You,” she spits out, up from the chair in a swift move._

_“One of the best things the curse created was this office, wouldn’t you agree?” the queen rhetorically asks, not searching for an answer as her skirts swish around the linoleum floor. She walks to the table to her right, plucking a red apple from the fruit bowl, examining it with a critical eye. “Yes, definitely. Makes me wonder how you’d forget who was the mastermind behind it.”_

_While the queen sets the apple back where it belongs, Regina moves around her desk, unsure at the queen’s intentions. She decides to keep her guard up, but also decides it is unwise to attack, for now. “What are you going on about?”_

“I _was there,” the queen continues, a solemn look on her face. “I was the one that saved us both from the all-consuming despair—”_

_“You pushed us too far. You went too far,” Regina interrupts. She shakes her head, and then says, “Blinded by rage.”_

_The queen’s brow quirks up, her mouth set in a thin line._

_“It’s rather easy, isn’t it?” the queen suddenly asks, chuckling darkly. “Separating yourself into another being. Compartmentalizing all of the hurt, the guilt, the darkness into someone else— into me.” She makes a clicking sound with her tongue. “Only… it didn’t work,” she says slowly, a twisted smile accompanying it. “The darkness… it’s still there, is it not?” She tilts her head, pouting._

_“That’s absurd,” Regina fires back, nails momentarily digging into her palms. She walks forward until the distance between them is barely existing. “I ripped you out,” she mutters, a strong belief in her voice. The belief that she is right, that she is_ free.

_The image of a pantsuit and a gown opposite each other is jarring, but neither halves seem to notice._

_“You...” The queen closes the rest of their distance, pressing their bodies together. Her little puffs of air as she stares unflinchingly at Regina’s eyes are very troubling. Regina doesn’t dare to move, not sure if she’s feeling worried, angry, curious, slightly aroused or a combination of all four._

_“You ripped me out, yes,” the queen whispers resolutely. “But…” She places her mouth right next to Regina’s ear. “You need me.”_

_She vanishes right after that, and Regina chooses to forget the moment ever happened._

_(She can’t forget.)_

***

The words are stuck in her throat, but they are _there._

They just shared True Love’s Kiss, right?

Emma can’t find any other reason for the rainbow light that left a powerful sensation of… blissfulness in its wake. For that single moment, she felt content. She felt as if nothing else mattered, because happiness was within her reach again.

It shouldn’t make this much sense.

It shouldn’t, she repeats in her head, but it does.

They shouldn’t— who is Emma trying to fool? _Killian wasn’t my—_

She comes back to the present when she feels a tingling sensation in her fingertips. Raising her hands, she finds electric sparks jumping all over them.

“What the hell is this?” Regina mumbles, and finally dares to look at her, only the comment wasn’t directed at her; Regina’s hands sparkle with the same kind of magic.

“The Dragon told me this would happen.”

Emma and Regina turn at the sound of the queen’s voice. “What are you doing here?” Emma asks, startled, especially when the sparkles in her hands fizzle out. _I swear, all this weird crap is gonna drive me nuts someday._

It’s then she notices her other half, moving closer from the shadows the vault’s corridor provides. “Bravo.” Swan claps her hands twice. “You did it.”

The sparkles may have stopped, but a sudden pounding sensation in her head makes her groan, overwhelming in its intensity, like she’s being split apart all over again. Emma presses a hand to her own forehead, wincing.

Beside her, Regina seems to be suffering from the same problem as she sits rather unceremoniously on the trunk.

Emma nearly doubles over, panting, feeling as if a hammer was cracking her skull open.

“Is this— Is this the—” Swan stops, her speech stilted. Under Emma’s own pain, she can see Swan struggling as well, a grimace on her features.

The queen breathes in sharply, her back against the arch that leads to the main part of the vault. “Yes.”

“Stop. It.” Regina demands between her clenched teeth.

“I’m— not—”

And just as the feeling had appeared, it leaves as if a gust of wind took it away.

Closing her eyes, Emma swallows down the wave of nausea it produces.

“We… Until we…” The queen pants, unable to continue.

They wait for a few minutes, until everyone is certain they won’t throw up whatever they had for lunch.

“You were saying?” Regina resumes the conversation, her voice husky. Emma watches as she pushes back a lock of hair, and has to fight the urge to sit beside her and pull her close. That shit was scary.

“You’ve admitted to yourselves the same truths we did.” The queen gestures to Swan, who has finally moved forward and stands next to her. “We need each other, as much as it… As much as it pains us to say it aloud.”

“Until we fully forgive ourselves, we will feel pain,” Swan continues. “Because both mind and body now know something is missing.”

Oh, Emma thinks, so this means… “The sparkles—”

The queen hums in affirmative. “We are one step closer to forgiveness.”

“Alright, Queenie. Let’s suppose you’re telling the truth,” Regina says, getting up swiftly.

“I _am_ telling the truth, Regina. I would have avoided the headache otherwise. Not much of a fan of unnecessary pain, as you might know.”

“She has a point there,” Emma concedes.

Regina rolls her eyes, crossing her arms with a huff. “Fine. How do you propose we get rid of this, then?”

Swan chuckles derisively. “Hmm, I believe we’ve had enough of that, wouldn’t you agree, Madam Mayor?”

With a smirk, the queen says, “When we finally forgive each other, we’ll be whole again.”


End file.
